The #12datesofchristmas Dating Challenge
ONE DAY in LATE OCTOBER…
Two successful women living out their dreams in the City of Angeles wake up one day late October to the harsh realization that unless they do something drastic, another year will soon come to a close, and they will STILL BE SINGLE! These independent ladies lavish in the single life but with each passing year, yearn for a deep connection that only a strong relationship can offer. The carefree Summertime days laying poolside and sipping on tropical cocktails while enjoying the Southern California weather seems like just yesterday. Now all of a sudden it’s Fall, the Winter months are quickly approaching and soon the holiday season will be in full effect. While most people in relationships are able to cuddle up and snuggle with their significant other during this time, most single women are satisfied in finding comfort in their favorite steamy book or DVR marathons of a Law & Order. It would be great to find that fairy tale mate who could enjoy the makings of a winters night cuddled up trying to outwit the other with good natured banter and tickle fights.
PEER PRESSURE
Insert the #12datesofchristmas Dating Challenge here. Two single chicks decide to go outside their comfort zone to venture out into the realm of dating by applying PEER PRESSURE! No more leaning on your other single girlfriends for comfort because they are putting on the PRESSURE!
So get out there, make yourself available, meet people, be nice and GO ON DATES!
THE CHALLENGE
The holidays seem to bring the cheer and love out in everyone, so why not start now? We will give ourselves until New Years Eve to go out on twelve dates, with the ultimate goal of falling in love. Stay tuned to find out which girl will end up smooching under the mistletoe and finding Mr. Right.
The Rules
- Each participant will be provided with a secret video challenge each week. It must be documented whether or not the challenge was completed.
- 12 dates must be completed by 12/31/13. (and NO, Skype or telephone conversations do not count as a date)
- HAVE FUN. SMILE & KEEP AN OPEN MIND
They had 60 days to go on 12 dates, and they called it the #12datesofchristmas dating challenge. Now that the challenge is over, Devyn and Teniese give their thoughts on love, dating and finding Mr. Right.
Dating Challenge Questionnaire
January 1, 2014
Do you feel differently now about the dating challenge, then you did when you first started?
Teniese: *Cue Boyz II Men’s “End of the road”…I feel as if I have been “spayed”. At the beginning of the challenge, I felt as if everything I touched turned to gold. Now, I feel like everything I touch turns to SHIT.
Devyn: YES! I was not optimistic in the beginning, but now I’m feeling pretty good about the whole darn thing!
Has your outlook on dating changed at all over the past two months? Why/Not?
Teniese: No, dating pretty much still sucks. Why must it suck?! And not the way we want it to (Pun intended)
Devyn: Yes and no. Dating is still dreadful, it just really is pretty yucky, but I realized through this challenge how fun it is to meet new people.
Has your outlook on men changed at all over the past two months? Why/Not?
Teniese: Yes, the majority of guys are already in a “situation”. They are afraid to admit they are in a relationship and afraid to “date” which somehow to them, resembles a relationship.
Devyn: Yes. Dare I even say that there are some good guys out there?!
Has your outlook on finding love changed at all over the past two months? Why/Not?
Teniese: A little. I am starting to contemplate if I should just become a “side chick” and give up on finding love. It seems a lot easier that way. Just kidding by the way…well kind of.
Devyn: I almost can’t believe it, seriously, I think LOVE might actually be REAL!?
Did the dating challenges and outings help in your effort to find love? Why/Not?
Teniese: Not really. But it damn sure boosted my ego. But for some reason, I still was dateless.
Devyn: Oh yes. I would never have attempted to go out with anyone during the holiday season if it weren’t for this challenge. I would just continue to make excuses, but this challenge really motivated me to get out there!
The challenge required you go on 12 dates within 60 days, did you complete the challenge? Why/Not?
Teniese: I did not complete ONE date. Dang, I suck.
Devyn: I completed 4 out of 12 dates. Not a good average, actually it would be a failing grade, but it’s 4 more dates than Teniese so I’m feeling good about that!
What was one of the biggest mistakes you made during this dating challenge? Explain.
Tenise: Being a little too picky and turning down dates. Even if they annoyed the hair off my eyebrows, I should have still went out for the sake of the project.
Devyn: Please refer to my posts, “The 7 Biggest Mistakes I Made During the Dating Challenge”
What was the biggest triumph you achieved during this dating challenge? Explain.
Tenise: Losing my virginity all over again…Wait, that’s not part of the challenge is it?!. Well, I need to start “Cleanse” part dos.
Devyn: Meeting someone that I really connect with!
What are your feelings about LOVE since the completion of this challenge? Explain.
Teniese: Do guys really fall in love or do they fall in lust. My Nana always told me to “make sure he loves you more than you love them”. I am starting to think that’s not possible or maybe I am looking in the wrong spots. I blame Devyn for her challenge choices. Yea, DAMN YOU DEVYN.
Devyn: Love is like Fairy Dust, you just gotta believe!!!!
Give five words that describe your experience during this dating challenge:
Teniese: Discouraging, sucky, hopeless, fun & mind-boggling.
Devyn: Optimistic, fuzzy, lucky, pinecones, bestest!
The dreadful daters are at the halfway point of the dating challenge to go on 12 dates by the end of the year! They started this challenge in the beginning of November with lots of hopes and dreams of what the holidays (and possible dates) would hold, but are they still optimistic about finding Mr. Right?!
Dating Challenge Questionnaire
December 1, 2013
Do you feel differently now about the dating challenge, then you did 30 days ago? Why/Not?
Teniese: Yes, a little bit. Its harder than expected. It seems as if everyone is in a “situation” these days.
Devyn: Yes, I knew it was going to be hard, I also knew that I would probably want to quit. Both of those things are true, but I still want to see if we can both complete the 12 dates before the new year.
Has your outlook on dating changed at all over the past month? Why/Not
Teniese: Not really, it still sucks.
Devyn: Yes, getting back into the dating world is actually more dreadful than I first imagined.
Has your outlook on men changed at all over the past month? Why/Not?
Teniese: Yes, men need to make more moves. Women are put down for being the aggressor; yet, the men are sitting back and allowing it. Men need to GROW SOME BIGGER BALLS.
Devyn: I don’t know how I feel anymore about how men approach dating. Everything is so casual nowadays, I miss the formality of being asked on a date that HE plans.
Has your outlook on finding love changed at all over the past month? Why/Not?
Teniese: Yes, I am starting to think that maybe it does not exist, or maybe its just not going to happen when I am “looking” for it.
Devyn: No, I still am not convinced that true love or Mr. Right exists for me.
With regard to the dating challenges, did they help you get closer to finding a date/dates? Why/Not?
Teniese: Not exactly. I am willing to give the inch, but ultimately the guy needs to take the mile. Aka: The initiative to actually setting up the date.
Devyn: No. I feel like I am embarrassing myself with these challenges.
Did you go on any dates in the month of November? Why/Not? If so, how many?
Teniese: Not yet, I turned down a few because my gut told me that it would be a disaster.
Devyn: I went out on 1 date! Yipee! I have lots to say about not only my first date of this challenge, but my first date THIS YEAR! Check back for my Date #1 blog!
The goal of this challenge is to go on 12 dates by the end of December, do you think this is still possible? Why/Not?
Teniese: Uh, not a chance in hell. Unless I meet someone I hit it off with and go on 12 dates in a row.
Devyn: I am still optimistic. I think that even though the first month of this challenge was pretty much a big fail for both of us, we just need use what we have learned so far to revise the game plan a little.
What do you think you will have to do differently in order to actually complete going on 12 dates by December 31?
Teniese: Start asking the guys out first. I haven’t really decided if I am willing to do that yet.
Devyn: I am literally going to have to say what I think, so if I want to go out with someone, I’m going to have to put it all out on the table. No more guessing games, if I want it, they will know!
Do you think that you can actually find a connection with someone by the end of 2013? Why/Not?
Tenise: Its possible.
Devyn: Yes, I don’t think that I’m hoping anymore to find Mr. Right, but I think I can meet someone who I like to be around… Maybe that could turn into something?
Give five words that would describe your experience so far in this challenge:
Teniese: Frustrating, suspenseful, draining, creative, & hopeless.
Devyn: Exciting, embarrassing, challenging, insightful, & (the color) salamander.
Dating Challenge Questionnaire
November 1, 2013
Your longest relationship?Teniese: My longest relationship was 5 years.
Devyn: Almost 6 years.
Have you ever been married/engaged to be married?
Teniese: None of the above (Blessing in disguise).
Devyn: Oh yah, I was married… Now I’m not.
When was the last time you’ve dated someone seriously?
Teniese: Four and a half years ago… WOW, that’s a long time.
Devyn: It’s been since 2007, so six, almost 7 gosh darn years.
How/why did that end?
Teniese: We were in two different places in our lives. I “thought” I wanted to start a family, marriage and new life together, and he just wasn’t ready. I made the mistake of always putting his feelings before mine and ultimately compromised my own happiness.
Devyn: After my divorce, I met someone who I fell head over heals in love with, and who was the exact opposite of my ex husband. I was in deep, it was the type of love that you read about in those nasty novels with a half naked sweaty shirtless guy on the cover (it was that good too). So deep in fact that I was blind to a lot of things, including his other “girlfriend” that he had on the side. I haven’t been the same since.
Why do you think that you haven’t been actively dating?
Teniese: Because I was wasting too much time involved with PAST relationships and did not have anyone in my life that actively peaked my interest.
Devyn: I gave up on finding a true love. I’ve taken on this challenge without really acknowledging the fact that I’m not sure that there is a Mr. Right out there for me.
Do you enjoy dating? Why/Not?
Teniese: HELL NO. It kind of gives me hives just thinking about it. I would love for things to flow naturally and it just feels right, but honestly I haven’t felt that in a while. I am so afraid that I won’t even recognize when I find it. I’m scared. I’m so scared of dating and starting all over, but it has to be done.
Devyn: I think dating could be super fun, if everyone was open and honest from the start. Everyone says it, but for me it’s really true, I hate the games. I don’t want to guess the thoughts and feelings of a grown man. I shouldn’t have to guess what a real man thinks and feels… right?… Or are guys into that kind of stuff now?
Your dream guy would have these 5 qualities:
Teniese: Family Oriented #1 – I love a man who respects his mother and other important female influences in his life. I want to have children in the future and want my future guy to want to raise a family as well. Personality #2 – I joke a lot. Laugh a lot. And would love for someone who can dive right in with the sarcasm. At the end of the day looks fade, but smiles last a lifetime. Height #3 – I want tall babies okay? Caring heart #4 – I enjoy someone who is sincere, genuine, thoughtful and loving. I am a hopeless romantic at heart. I love to make my man feel special and enjoy having the same done for me. RESPECT #5 – no definition needed.
Devyn: Patience #1 – I’m a lot to handle, literally and figuratively, and I do not match well with someone who has a short fuse. Positive #2 – He has to look on the bright side of life and see that the glass is always half full. Hard Working/Goal Oriented #3 – He should be the “Man with the Plan” because I’m a “Lady with a to do List”. I like to look at the big picture and plot a path that will get me to the promised land, he should like to do the same. SillyBilly #4 – I laugh when someone farts during yoga, he should be able to laugh at the fact that I pee a little when I sneeze really hard. Spiritual #5 He should know his place on this earth is a gift and be willing to explore how to better serve Love and humankind.
Your biggest relationship “deal breaker”?
Teniese: A man who smokes, hates kids or dogs, LIES.
Devyn: A man who does not stand behind his words.
The Dread of Dating 